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heather <3

[ website | piCtuReS ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

im stupid ;x [12 Aug 2004|10:49am]
[ mood | horny ]

Read more...Collapse )

16 s ..

so amusing.. [12 Aug 2004|12:13am]
[ mood | cranky ]

well last night lor came over nd babysat w/ me .. and then i went over her house nd we got readi to go see napolean [ best movie ever ] then megan slept over nd i made tortelini and played sonic the hedgehog.. and in the morning i made salsa cheese dip crap that was yummy.. megan left like usual .. and then me and lori went to the pool.. DAVID was there. oh man hahaha gotta love david he is one sexxxxxxxy kid ! yea so it was neat.. then i talked to that joey kid that i met at a game and he didnt remember but i do cause i was w/ bobby dubee and i was trying to rape him and joey took his shoe and ruined our chance.. ahahhaha megan was raping bo and lori was heartbroken from nick . fun times, fun times. neat. so then i went back to lors and we got readi and went to the mall and i got 2 jeans and 3 shirts for 80 dollars.. which was flippin sweet.. then tomoro i was gonna go to the kop mall w/ lauren but i dont think we are because she has to be home at 3 so were gonna go like in 2 weeks.. so tomoro the agenda is...
- during my moms lunch break go get the 5 pairs of jeans at express and the 2 at wetseal taht are on hold
- ana's cousin will take me nd ana to exton mall
- me + ana party [ yooooou know how we do ]
- sleep over ana's

yea pretty neat ..my mom better give me her credit card or ill scream .. i need my own but my dads a freaking retard. i get my hair highlighted ina week. friday im goin to the mountains for 2 days with chris. then im goin to new jersey to the cabin. SIGH i wish that my dawg lauren was still around and i could go to herrrrrr cabin.. i havnt talked to that whore in forever .. or kristen.. or melissa. wow things really change =/ ok well i gotta go to bed im sleepy ! <3

[10 Aug 2004|03:42pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Current mood: tired
Current music: lloyd banks
Current taste: chicken nuggets
Current hair: messy bun
Current clothes: white a&f shorts and a pink tube top
Current annoyance: ooh many things
Current smell: this food i made
Current thing I ought to be doing: reading my gay book
Current windows open: the airs on
Current desktop picture: napolean dynamite
Current favorite band: G UNIT
Most listened to: i dunno ..
Current book: well i bought the book star by pamela anderson
Current cds in stereo: i listen to my computer usually haha
Current crush: chris !
Current favorite celeb: jessica simpson duhhh ..
Current hate: school
Last book you read: completely ? uhh .. of mice nd men
Last movie you saw: dirty dancing today ! lol
Last thing you had to drink: diet coke w/ lime
Last time you showered: this morning
Last thing you ate: chicken nuggets
Last person you talked to on the phone: luke
Do i / have i ever
Smoke?: yea
Do drugs?: i have
Have sex?: yea
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: yea.. many keep coming back
Play an instrument?: yea
Believe there is life on other planets?: i dont believe thers other planets
Remember your first love?: chris.. but i was kinda in love w/ donny.. idk
Still love him/her: i love chris .. but i miss donny [ in a freind waaaay ]
Read the newspaper?: nah
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: matt !
Believe in miracles?: yup
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: theres always curiousity
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: usually
Consider love a mistake?: nahh
Like the taste of alcohol?: i love it
Have a favorite candy?: anything chocolate
Believe in astrology?: sure
Believe in magic?: yup
Believe in god?: yea
Have any pets: yea but there like my dads now.. hmm i wonder where they are now that the fucking asshole is locked up again
Do well in school?: nahh .. too many fuckin assholes to concentrate on anything but my life .. causing distractions to me
Go to or plan to go to college: nah.. beauty school then ill get my Rn
Wear hats?: in the snow
Have any piercings?: ears [3] belly button nd im gettin my nose or tongue pierced before i go back to school
Have any tattoos?: nah
Hate yourself?: im my only enemy
Have an obsession?: yea
Have a secret crush?: nope
Do they know yet?: sure
Collect anything?: i used to
Have a best friend?: yup !
Close friends?: ooh yes.. lots of them
Wish on stars?: occasionally
Like your handwriting?: not at all
Care about looks?: probably a little too much..
Love and stuff
First crush: i dont remmeber.. i had too many.. but i like loved this kyle kid haha
First kiss: matt riley
Single or attached?: attatched
Ever been in love?: yea
Do you believe in love at first sight?: yea
Do you believe in "the one?": yea
Describe your ideal significant other: this is boring
Juicy stuff
Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing?: haha if so i was drunk
Have you ever been intoxicated?: yea
Favorite place to be kissed?: my neck ! but place to kiss... was under this waterfall yesterday with chris. it was hot except when i opened my mouth and water came rushing in. neat.
Have you ever been caught"doing something”: haha yea .. fun times
Are you
a tease?: yea hahah
Shy to make the first move?: not at all
Wussy: no
a Druggy: nope
a Daydreamer: yea
a Freak: sometimes
Dorky: sometimes
Easy: supposedly
Bitchy: i can be
Bratty: yea
Sarcastic: when necessary
Goody-goody: not at all
a Devil: haha no
Shy: nope
Talkative: yes
Adventurous: nahh
a Joker: not quite
Flirty: overly

yea that was neat.. my entry of dorney park isnt showing up but yea.. it was fun !

everyones pissing me off.

4 s ..

dorney ! [10 Aug 2004|01:39pm]
ok so yesterday chris came and picked me up .. it took 45 mins to get to his house when usually it takes like 15.. so it was a boring car ride then me nate chris angelina nates dad and sister drove to dorney ! yeehaw.. nates dad is like the coolest dad ever haha nate and angelina like rape each other right next to him and all that fun stuff.. so yea dorney was cool i dont feel like typing all that but now im making a list of people chris is goign to invite to his party muahahha.. well ppl that i know that need to go ! ok i need to babysit .. tomoro me nd ana r goin to dinner at outback.. yay ! <3

the beach !!! [08 Aug 2004|10:35am]
[ mood | cold ]

mmk .. heres a little overview of a fun week !!

saturday-- we went w/ her brother ev early and went to her aunt & uncles beach house which is really pretty.. and we layed out on the beach a little bit. theeenn we went back to our beach house they rented nd wow. we were like a little pissed off because we get this really really small room w/ like a bed & pull out couch and NO miror. i have like maddd vanity issues too so it was really sad to see that there was not a mirror and only 2 bathrooms. so yea we got readi nd went back to her aunt nd uncles for a barbeque nd omg her whole family toghether is like the funniest thing in the world ahahahah i was like dying + her brothers girlfriend lindsay is hilarious too ! so then we went home nd walked 10 streets to the boardwalk and i saw rob + luke who are chris's freinds so we hung out wiht them.. rob <3s lori. luke <3s ange. its a parttttttty ! haha so then we stumbled in at 12 and sat on the porch and there were 3 reaaaaally hot guys next door on there porch haha

sunday-- it was kinda cloudy out :/ so we watched dawsons creek then went to the beach allll day.. and loris uncle larry is hilarious he like rolled out of this chair to escape the tag people ahahah fun times.. there dinner convos are hilairouss.. then me nd lor were getting ready, and i look out the window basically naked nd i see 3 guys staring up at me. *awkward* and i run out of the LITTLE room that we werent in any more caz loris cousin nd her 2 freinds janelle and heather came and got to stay there haha. so yea me nd lor went onto the boardwalk and had a swell time like always w/ rob nd luke.

monday-- we went onto the beach for a little bit.. rob + luke wanted to come but lor said no. so yea nothing to exciting happened. sorry :/ also i dont think we went on the boardwalk either haha we just talked to the guys next door from our window. they wanted us to wrestle naked hahahaha . horny bastards.

tuesday-- ahhh my mind gets fuzzy from monday-wednesday but umm im pretty sure we just didnt get to surf and we got mad because i didnt take my medacine and we went on double shot 2 times w/ rob and luke and it was lightening out / monsooning. fun times fun times. OH and the ocean had more seaweed than water and me and lori almost drowned when this huge wave came ahaha

thursday-- we went to wildwood OMG i could of killed the "watch the tramcar" recording thing ahhh my eaaaaaars. i wonder what its like to record that like seriousoly if someone asks that lady what she does for a living does she say " i recorded WATCH THE TRAM CAR PLEASE in wildwood new jersey " ?? hmmmm but anyway we went nd got macks pizza which = god. haha i love it and omg there bathroom is so foul ok theres like a 2 foot high plank sepereatin gthe stalls. FOUL so we didnt use the bathroom haha.. and then i got my ears pierced nd lor got these really pretty earings ! and it was pouring rain all day it was kinda sad.. then we went home nd went on the ocean city boardwalk and hung out wiht rob and luke for the last time and lori and rob like each other alottttt.. well i kno rob really likes lori i dont kno how much or if she even likes rob.. but robs sexy ill put a picture of him on herrrre soo yea .. and when we got home loris sister and cousin nd freinds were all questioning the guys we were with haha.. fun times

friday-- me nd lor watched the last dawsons creek !! pacey loves joey and joey loves pacey no matter what whores. then we wetn onto the beach and layed out all day and went into the ocean and got pulled out far and we look over adn we are like 2 miles away from the green flag so we had to swim against the cureent whihc is really hard haha i didnt have any energy so i just stayed there haha im so lazzzzzzzzzy oh well. then we went on the boardwalk .. looked for <3 mike <3 haha then we got hollered at alot by random guys it was funny. then we got tarot cards and palms done which was really awesome she said lori pushes guys away and isnt flirtacious and theres a guy she likes but shes uncertain about it and girls are jealous of her and all this really true stuff.. then with me she told me im depressed and i can only stay mad for an hour and i love chris and we are going to be togheter for a long time and even get married. this made me happy and stuff and i called chris nd told him and stuff.. so then we went home nd packed and all :/

yesterday-- we packed nd went to a random diner for breakfast and then went hoooome. lori was mad the whole way home almost except almost at the end she came around haha.. then i got ready for my aunts baby shower and went there and my aunt opened up a nightclub called mystic in hockessin and i can go to it because they have a 15-20 night every friday .. and my cousins said that there are hot guys.. so me lor nd meg are gonna go there ! hah so yea then i went over to chris's and hung out w/ him and nate for a little bit then oompa came over nd we went to robs until nate came home from work.. theeen we went back to nates. fun stuff kids

so yea .. today loris gonna come to chris/robs with me and swim and stuff and then im sleepin at chris's because im goin to dorney park w/ them. LORI SHOULD COME but i dont kno if theres room / if she would even want to haha

ok kids im out <33

4 s ..

[31 Jul 2004|08:33am]
hey everyone ! im goin to the beach wit lori til next saturday ! i love you all ! ill have my cell so if you wanna talk ..hit that ! <33
13 s ..

[30 Jul 2004|01:05pm]


me nd brit <3Collapse )

8 s ..

awesome day.. [29 Jul 2004|11:21pm]
soo i got readi nd all nd went over brits. aww i love her so much she will always be my best friend.. no one else knows me like her haha i guess caz we hav been friends for so long.. but yea.. so i got theere nd we did our makeup nd talked nd stufff.. caz last time we were just like drinking.. she was already drunk nd stuff soo yeaa hahaa..soo we just watched this movie "chasing papi" haha it was weird.. and we talked nd all nd we decided to go to the mall nd so we did .. and wow we shopped like crazy i would be looking at one side of a rack nd shed be at the other nd we would both pull the same shirt and be like OMG look how cute ! haha .. its crazy we read each others mind.. then we ate at american cafe nd talked alot.. she says i have the worst southern accent..though shes from new york soo yea.. we took alot of pictures im gonna post them ina little bit ! nd we were waiting outfront to be picked up and these guys came over nd talked to us nd stuff .. they were gangsta.. brit was like "ill suck ur dick, but my mom wil be here soon" hahaha shes great.. and then these guys drove by nd they had like a tarp over teh back of the pick up truck .. with water in it nd they were like come here babes .. so we went to see what it was because we saw water splashing.. hah ahe was like naked nd was like wanna swim ??/ we were like yea but we donthave suits ! and he was like just go naked ! haha it was funny. then her mom came finally and she was like heather .. are you having sex with your boyfriend. britney is. ahhaha wow i love her mom .. her moms freinds w/ my mom so of course i was like oh no. and then later seh asked if ive been to the beach at all nd i was like yea i went with my family + my friend then again withmy boyfriend. and she was like right and shes not having sex or anything hahahha ! brits boyfriend reminds me of chris .. like they are alot alike nd stufff.. except brits boyfriend is like HUGE hes like 6'5 and 400 pounds. haha nd brit showed me her modeling/pagaent pcitures.. shes gettin doubles for me.. soo yea excitign day ! im goin to bed now .. peace babyyy !

[29 Jul 2004|12:02am]
just a lil update !
tomoro- goin to brits .. probly sleeping there
friday- goin to chris's maybe .. or the mall idk what one haha
saturday- goin to the beach with lor !

oh yes .. that was worth logging in ..
2 s ..

[27 Jul 2004|11:24pm]
i hate everything
and i think thats a problem

i can't breathe.. because my heart broke
and it's pieces cut my lungs .. </3
3 s ..

ive prolly already done this.. [27 Jul 2004|01:56pm]
Name: heather
Age: 15
Birthdate: february 1st
Zodiac Sign: aquarious
Location: pennsylvaniaa
Nickname: heathe, heathii, dumber, tweedle dum, baby giiiiirl etc
Hair Color: blonde
Eye Color: greenish blue
Piercings: cartlidge + belly ring [ i wanna get my tongue done ]
Tattoos: none yet
Freckles: only a few
Wavy/Straight/Curly Hair: wavy / but i straighten it
Hair Length: Long
Color of Nails: pink
Do you bare down hard when you write: no
What is on your keychain: i dont have one
Hobbies: surfing + other water sports
School: ghettovalley hah
Car: i dont have one yet.. but im gettin a 95 eclipse or a celica and its gonna be hot pink + pretty rims
Have you ever worked for a resturaunt: no .. dont plan on it
Do you have a pencil blister: no .. i havnt wrote down anything since like june
Do you have those little white marks under your nails: i cant tell my nails are painted
How many: ...
Do you have long/short nails: long
What are you wearing right now: white halter top + hot pink shorts
What time is it: 2:03
Date: i dunno haha


color: pink or blue
number: 3
radio station: whatevers on
TV station: mtv, vh1, E!
Commercial: the KAREN one on mtv hahaha .. its great
Time of day: night
Subject: i dunno .. gym ?
Teacher: i dont like any of them
Clothing Store: abercrombie & fitch
Shoe: flip flops
Jewelry: all of my jewelry
State: new york !
Place to Be: the bahamas
Fruit: strawberris
Meat: filet ? i dunno ? lol
Veggie: carrots
Ice Cream: any ben & jerrys kind
Potato Chip: sour cream & onion
Salad Dressing: i dont like it
Fast Food Rest: Subway!!!!!!!!
Dine In: outback, carrabas, olive garden
Gas Station: ......
Candy: chocolate anything
Bread: potato
Grocery Store: genuardis
Dog: small ones
Animal: puppies
Month: july
Season: summer
Shape: hearts
Sense: touch
Shampoo: bumble & bumble
Toothpaste: crest
Drink: water / sprite / iced tea / lemonade
Alcoholic Beverage: smirnoff ice / bacardi / jello shooters
Do you have a lucky number: 3
Do you do drugs: no.. well weed but not alot .. only like once a year haha
Do you smoke: nope
Do you drink: yea
Do you cuss: yes
Do you have a CD burner: yea
Who do you hate: this kid brian for making my life suck . SORRY IM BEAUTIFUL ASSHOLE
Who hates you: people that believe the above person.
How many buddies are on your buddy list: 200
How many are online right now: 40
Which ones are you talking to: away messge is up
How do you know them: .......
What did you do yesterday: slept .. watched tv .. wetn to the mall w/ angela
What did you do today: woke up, brused my teeth, got online
What are you doing tomorrow: probably cleaning my room
What are you doing this weekend: goin to ocnj with lor
What did you do last weekend: omg i dont remember ! nvm i do, brit came over.. we drank, saturday i went out with laurra, sunday i went over chris`s house
What are you gonna do when this is over: get food


Your Crush: chris ? lol
First Kiss: matt
First Boyfriend/Girlfriend: matt riley
Is there anyone that you would date again: hmm.. maybe if they matured + i was single.
Do you believe in love at first sight: yea


Your closest ones: brit, lori, megan, jess, ana
The one that lives farthest away: brit, lauren,
The one that lives closest to you: salea, nikki, sam, meghan, alexa
The tallest: hmmm .. i dunno !
Shortest: ana
Most Outgoing: all my freinds are
you can trust the most: britney or lori
One you've known the longest: brit
Known the shortest: alexa

the LAST

thing you ate: uhh .. chick fila last night at the mall
thing you drank: water
thing you said: WHAT DO YOU WANT -- to jess when she called at lyk 7
person you saw: my doggie !
person who called you: brit
person you called: my mom
person you hugged: angela
person you kissed: chris
person to ride in your car: ....
who's car you rode in: my moms
told you they loved you: angela
movie you watched: office space
person you gave the finger: chris
person who gave you the finger: brit haha
person you missed: well i miss quite a few ppl

Number of continents I have visited: 1/2 ...the carribean?
Number of boys I have kissed in my life: like 30 haha
Number of boys I have french kissed: like 20
Number of girls I have kissed: none
Number of girls I have french kissed: none
Number of drugs taken illegally: weed ?
Number of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends: hmm..
Number of piercings: 2
Number of tattoos: non
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: neverr
Number of scars on my body: a few
Number of times a person has made me scared of what they could do to me physically: dan lol
Number of things in my past that I regret: not much
Last movie seen: the notebook
Last movie in the theatre: the notebook
Last phone number called: lori now
Last show watched on tv: britney live
Last song heard: brand new// the quiet thigns that no one ever knows

01 - people who drive really fast
02 - mexicans
03 - losing people i love

01 - why people think im a slut / believe rumors
02 - how people make video games
03 - why guys think my ass is huge

01 - pink skirt
02 - white shirt
03 - slippers lol

01 - an empty water
02 - random pictures
03 - my cell fone

01 - get married//have kids
02 - be famous
03 - be happy

01 - my eyes
02 - my butt since its apparently large ahaha
03 - my legs

01 - my arms
02 - my boobs
03 - my stomach.. it needs to be flatter

01 - i`m really quite hilaroius once you get to know me
02 - i miss alot of people
03 - i'm not as happy as i act

01 - shut up
02 - what ?
03 - laughin

01 - the beach
02 - the bahamas
03 - the mountains

01 - heather
02 - heathe
03 - hun

haha wow that was fun
5 s ..

today <3 [27 Jul 2004|01:38am]
hmm well today i talked to ashley .. things r kool now we actually had a nice talk lol.. thats always nice. then i talked to that effin slut who talked to chris. she actually is alot like me. i dont like that. that means chris will like her caz shes like me. GRR! but she called me a preppy, beautiful "prep. that word needs to be banished along with "gangsta" "slut" "punk" "goth" theyre really gay. anyway matt marshallsea said if i make him spit blood he will hire a lawyer.i love that kid. so all day i did nothing productive.. i talked to britney a little bit. dear lord that child has the WORST accent EVER hahahaha .. i mean i have a southern accent like cameron fromthe real world nd britt has like .. a very bad one ? lol new yorkers.. gotta <3 em ! then i talked to ange nd we decided to go to the mall ! omg it was soo fun ! we laughed at a bunch of odd ppl =/ hahaha nd attempted to "deceifer the code of numbered jeans" hahah we amuse ourselves.. then we went into spencers for like an hour and i bought a cosmopolitan lip gloss.. YUM! i seriously cant fuckin wait til i get my credit card. my dad better go through with that .. he said i can spend 500 a month [ how much he gives my mom for child support ] to spend. *ahem* my 8 year old brother has a cell fone ? i find this incredibly weird but whatever. me nd ange had a realy swingin time at the mall.. we need to do it more !! so when i came home this kid from sallies who knows billy nd stuff was talking to me nd wanted a picture so i showed himsome nd he send it to a bunch of ppl who kno me as the "hot girl billy got to be with for a little bit" very odd. and i randomly IMed this kid mike i was suposed to go to sallies homecoming w/ last year. awh he was really nice.. were gonna hang out sometime .. i think we r alot alike haha! and i made mandy luagh hysterically ! i love mandy so much! ok enough of all that.. lol i love mandy .. shes great. then dumb & dumber called me nd omg megan`s mom makes her be home by 7 at the beach. thats is the funniest thing i have heard in a while. EWUH megan raped this kid who looks like danny rappa

ok well.. now im eatin a cherry water ice.. yum ! and waiting for my water to chill becaue the brita jawn had no new filters. yea ok well im gonna go read blurties nd such.. <3
4 s ..

hmmm [26 Jul 2004|12:10pm]
so today tomoro nd wednesday are going to be gay days because i cant do anything but clean my room + reead. FUN . so yesterday iwent over chris's and we went over nathans for a while and then nathan and anglina got in a big fight like always .. so then nathan yelled at us for being there so we left haha.. so yea .. we go back to his house nd some chick named sam IMs him nd he like hey chris! and they start talking nd he was like what did you do this weekend ? and she said " i got laid.. just kidding im waiting for you to notice me " so of course i lunge for hte keyboard and bitch the bitch out of this fuck head. it was fun .. so i thought she learned her lesson not to tlak to chris. and THEN she has the balls to start saying how much she loves him and hes an awesoem friend and im so lucky and she wishes she was me because she wants chris to care for her. again i lunge at the keyboard and i yell at her. ahaha i was like dude bitch i will fuck you up dont even start you fucking psycho.. and she was like chris ??? and i was like no its heather and i swear to fucking god ill beat the shit out of you chris will never like you so then she was just like "ahaha ok" wow it pissed me off so much i wanted to go kill her. it was funny cause chris attempted to stop me at my lunge for the keyboard. hmm so then i was like whatever i wanna see wat she says to you. soo she said stuff like "do you think im too young for a 16 year old?" and "what does it mean if you love your best friend who you havent met in person but have seen pictures of" and "how do i start a love letter" wow i was so mad im pretty mad at chris because obviously they talk and he knows how much she cares about him. i wanted to beat the shit out of this girl i cant even express how hard i would of kicked her asss. stupid little 14 year old shit yea! and then chris is grounded for not talking [ ??? ] after his mom said he wasnt allowed to drive to my house. he has such a psycho mom i swear.. and so i wont see him for 2 weeks =( buttttt however im goin to brits moms house thursday and friday .. ahh i cant wait i love my britney SO much.. im glad that i get to see her again because friday was just like .. not memorable ? haha so amanda is coming and the 3 of us toghether is a wild time.. i love you all <33
6 s ..

think whatever you want of this.. this is stuff people should know before they judge me [25 Jul 2004|01:47am]
| stalk me | hate me | bitch at me |

i live with my grandparents and i have since i was 2
i hate 99% of the people in my school
i dont get embaressed
i hate being tickled
im the messiest person you will ever meet
i have been let down or had my heartbroken too many times
i want to be famous, but i kno it will never happen so i dont try
ive got a reputation of being easy =/
i wish i still had my horses and that i still rode horses
i have obsessive compulsive disorder, ADD, depression, and anxiety
i am heavily medicated for the above problems. you will know when i dont take my pill
i cry way too easily
i am one of the weirdest, randomist people i have ever met
im really not a bitch, i just act like it to make myself less vulnerable
i wish people could accept the real me, not go by gay ass rumors
i abuse the words "faggot" "shut up" "i hate you" "i love you"
i act like nothing phases me, but really everything phases me but im too scared to show emotion
im a drama queen
i work at a hair salon
i want to be a cosmetologist, i love playing with makeup
i lead guys on
i have been in rehab [ i bet yall didnt know that ! ]
i often suspect things and take action too quickly, causing me to hurt myself and others around me
one person knows everything about me - britney
three people know close to everything about me - lori, megan, chris
i wish britney never moved
i wish i am as strong as i pretend i am
too many people have broken my trust
i wish donny was still here and was my best friend
i wish i was still freinds with people who i dont even keep in touch with
i have problems with letting go of people, words, and items
i forgive, but i will never forget
i love chris, with all my heart and i take for granted how much we mean to one another
i flirt alot, not intentionally
i can remember word for word what people tell me, and exactly what happened
when i close my eyes i see movies of memories
as much as i would love to say that i trust someoen with my life, i dont. i dont even trust myself with my life
i have more regrets than i thought i did
i dont like when people cry
i have vivid dreams and terrible life-like nightmares
i tell people advice that i should take, but dont
ive come close to commiting suicide and i have passed out from lack of food / vomiting
normal everyday things are sometimes impossible for me, making me have no hope
im a fun person to be around, despite these flaws
i feel left out with everything and everyone im freinds with
i always feel like im bothering someone and im useless
i can stay up for 3 days straight
i cant take pain that im not causing myself
i think i need psychological help sometimes
i get bullshitted at because im pretty and girls are jealous
im a barbie
i hate suprises
i get excited at stupid things
im the pickiest eater ever
im a natural blonde.. i have many pictures to prove it
i enjoy pelvic thrusting around lor`s house
i love sunshine, the beach, happy people, and butterflys
i want to be a little kid again
my living situation is very.. complicated
my life has been filled with empty promises + broken dreams
i always feel like im being watched and judged
i wash/rinse my hair with bottled water 2 times a week
i love to dance
i can be serious.. even though ppl just think im an asshole
i really am not a snob, a slut, or mean
if i was thinner and had big boobs i would be a playboy bunny
i love playing lacrosse and i wish i stil cheerleaded
im obsessed with shopping
i spend my money too easily
im very outgoing
i listen to rap / punk rock / pop
jessica simpson britney spears and christina aguilara are my heros
if i could go back in time i would love to know marilyn monroe
kicking guys in the balls is fun
i love to go to parties
i want to be the person i used to be
4 s ..

my daaay .. [24 Jul 2004|11:37pm]
- woke up, said bye to brit.. threw up a little
- watched the britney spears onyx hotel tour on mtv
- took a little nap w/ my doggy
- went school shopping online for about 2 hours
- my cousin danielle came over
- went to some gym nd signed up to be a member there. it has free tanning !
- went to see the notebook wiht laura ! aww it was so fun, laura we will have to hang out some more !
- put lightening stuff in my hair.. it doesnt look any lighter
- talked to chris and now im online looking at livejournals and my community

should i dye my hair a light blonde or put it my natural color [ a dirty blonde ] or dying it a shade of brown. ive been debating this for so long now !

my plans for tomorrow:
- drive to my moms friends daughters house to see her baby...
- go over chris's
- go hang out w/ nathan & angelina
- pack for my 2 day trip with ms. amanda ! lol

lor + meg .. i miss u 2 ! <33
2 s ..

just some stuff [24 Jul 2004|01:39pm]

school shopping spree online =)Collapse )
4 s ..

[24 Jul 2004|12:59pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

ohh wow what a night... we ended up not getting too bad.. i could still think clearly to talk to laura and then britt had taken some bacardi so we just did shots of them at my house haha .. and brit kept takin like mug shots of me looking terrible omg they are terrible hahahha.. britney wouldnt let me take a picture of her so i ended up grabbing the camera and she like broke it.. so i need to get the lense fixed.. and hmm so at lyk 4ish we did the shots and then we were a little shit faced bc i dont remmember what ahppened after that i just know that right now im in pain [ i just woke up ] and britney keeps throwing up. i told my mom we had left overs last night adn we got sick from them .. ahahhaha so brit left like 10 mins ago bc she has to spend time w/ her momma & my cousin dani is coming over YAY soo yea .. i love you all

a little more cheerier this time [23 Jul 2004|11:25pm]
ok so things still really sucked BUT they are better.

actually i have good news ..
- BRITNEEEEEEEY is here as in here in pennsylvania!! and here as in my house.. that crack head just shows up at my house randomly ! i started crying i miiised her soo much !! its 11:30 and we havent even gone out yet. shes me.. only happier and eh.. more troublesome ? because in precisely 45 minutes her sister is picking us up nd we are drinking then shes dropping us off here again.. ahh brit i love you ! then sunday me + her + ana r going to drink again. i think im an alcoholic.. just kidding its under control
- chris got service again .. so now i can talk to him !
- me + brit + amanda r gonna go to the beach [ uh 0hh ] best freinds reunited w/ liquor .. what an idea..
ehh .. the only bad thing about it is that i go through drunk stages and i can only drink around my freinds who know how i get. first im really funny and crazy .. then i get really ehh freindly with people.. then i start getting mad at them nd like dramatic but not mad.. then i pass out. so when im drunk and if theres guys tehre i might rape them and not remember. i might choose to just drink a little bit, but not get shit faced. hahahaha

smirnoff ice + bacardi o3 here we cooooome .. <3
1 ..

[23 Jul 2004|08:55pm]
i think im gonna kill myself

today has been the worst day ever


4 s ..

i just heard my heart break on the floor [23 Jul 2004|04:23pm]
what a day. i had chris wake me up at 10.. then i was supposed to watch colin nd pj but then i didnt have to because beth never called me back because shes stupid. so ive just been watching tv / siting online / sleeping all day. isnt that so fun ? we all know it is. i cant wait.. sunday me nd ana are partying and getting drunk its been so long. ana and jess both go otu with the same guy. they both kiss gerry nd stuff its reaaaaaally strange but whatever.. weirdos ! last night me nd jess got in a fight.. it really sucked but whatever jess always believes freaking rumors until i proove it to her. dan is being disgusting and saying weirdddddddd things to me nd jess .. but whatever hes a fuckhead. HAH i love that .. fuckhead.. both things he looks for in a girl. loserrrr.. then today i had been trying to get a hold of donny just so we could talk .. eventually i just sent him a text messege saying..
me: i kno you dont want to talk to me but at least answer this.. why do you not want to talk to me like what did i do
donny: i duno i just dont feel like dealing with our past caz i want to forget it nd move on with ur life
 me: umm ok i didnt kno talking to me again would put such a drastic change in your life
donny: things are over with us.. just let it go its so much easier on me.. and i know once we start talkign you will want more than a friendship
 me: no i wont i have my own life i dont sit around wishing that i was yours still and shit like that but whatever your fucking gay donny
donny: no its not you i know i will start liking you again and we will love each other and not see each other nd things will just suck because i do miss you alot but this is how i deal with things
me: just call me i dont have free text anymore

so he calls me and things are ok .. we are talking about our lves now nd stuff .. but somehow i said one thing about last summer nd shit .. nd it just ends up we scream at each other and he names everything bad about me and tells me that im a crazy bitch nd i have serious problems with letting go nd that he knew i would break his heart because im a slut and i do that kind of stuff nd alot of bad things.  it hurt .. like really bad. but it was my choice and i started it and now im never goign to talk to him again. maybe its good that that happened though because now atleast i know that im not missing anything .. or anyone really since he was just a freaaaaaking asshole. even though he was my best freind nd a good boyfreind nd knew alot about me..it takes balls to hurt me like that and usually i can just get over it or yell back bad stuff about me but i just said bye i`m glad we had this talk .. and hung up. gah guys are such assssshollllllles because then i go and call chris and hes like I CANT TALK even though im crying. GREAT i love you too.

so whats wrong with heather right now ?
- i just heard everything bad about me from an honest point of view
- my boyfriend didnt care that i wanted to talk to him
- my best freind hates me
- my 2 best freinds are goign on vacation and ill be bored to death
- colin nd pj r goin back to texas
- megans mom hates me
- i have more regrets then i thought

this is the last time i`ll think of this song 3Collapse )
2 s ..

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